Coping with exam stress

Exams can be stressful. For that matter anything that has a result attached to it, which can impact your life is stressful, say for instance--your performance appraisal, job interviews and even exams. Exams and more specifically the results associated with it are stressful because in Indian scenario exams decide a whole lot of things, which means the course of your career and the source of your livelihood. Moreover parents also put emphasis on settling down their children and exams decide everything in this critical process.

How exam stress kicks in the child?

Stress can express itself in different ways, but for different people before an exam. You might feel knots in your stomach or have the urge to visit the washroom all the time. This kind of anxiety is called anticipatory anxiety and results in adverse affects on the body and mind and therefore, a sub optimal performance.

"Stress not only causes palpitations and tense muscles but also reduces the ability to make decisions, act or express oneself including organization of thoughts," says Dr K.K Agarwal. Stress during exams can makes it difficult to read and understand questions and even to recall terms and concepts.

What can you do to cope with exam stress?

A recent study has shown that 45 minutes of afternoon nap improves the declarative memory. Declarative memory is the memory of events learnt and understood earlier during the year.

Not taking afternoon nap or the night sleep may cause the child end up with transient loss of declarative memory.

Free Writing Can Clear Mental Stress: By spending 30 minutes each day for four days to write out your innermost thoughts and feelings, one can significantly boost mental and physical health. In expressive writing therapy, students are encouraged to express whatever is on their mind, letting their hopes and fears flow out in a natural, unrestrained way. It’s akin to keeping a journal, but more focused on the things that might be bothering you or triggering stress.

Everything you wanted to know about pacifiers

New borns can cry for as many as two hours in a day. During these crying marathons, many new mothers confront a choice of offering pacifier to their crying baby. Sometimes after making the decision to offer pacifier, guilt overpowers them. These mothers may find some relief from the fact that American Academy of Paediatrics gives green light to pacifiers through out the baby’s first year.

Thumbs up

Sucking is a natural reflex of baby. For some babies the amount of sucking they get during feedings is less. Pacifiers can be a key to contentment between feedings for these babies. Bottle-feeding mothers can buy some time with pacifier while preparing milk for her hungry baby. Pacifier can make a restless baby sleep.

Moreover, it is easier to break the habit of sucking on a pacifier as compared to sucking on a thumb. You can throw a pacifier. Research proves that a pacifier may reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Thumbs down

Pacifiers may interfere with breast-feeding.
Babies may become dependent on pacifiers, and, you may have to wake up at night on hearing your baby cry to grope for the lost pacifier. Pacifiers may increase middle ear infection. Middle ear infections are most common in children below three years of age. The risk of ear infections is the lowest in the first six months when the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is the highest.
When it comes to making decision, mother is the best judge.

Dos

Allow breastfeeding to establish, before you introduce pacifier to your baby.
When it comes to sucking on pacifier let the baby decide.
Replace cracked nipple and keep identical spares.
Wash pacifier thoroughly with soap and water; put it in hot water with white vinegar, equal parts to kill germs for ten minutes everyday.
Try to get your baby off pacifier after the first year.

Don’ts

Do not put pacifier in the mouth of a sleeping baby.
Do not shove in pacifier in your baby’s mouth every time she cries.

Protect your teenage kid from depression

Abhyankar Rastogi, 17, qualified grade XI exams in one of the best known schools in Delhi with poor marks. The school decided that he couldn’t study Science any longer and had to move to Commerce or Arts stream, to which Abhyankar, an automobile enthusiast was reluctant to. Moreover, he belonged to the family of toppers. His mother, father and elder sister were all toppers, hence the pressure to perform had compounded on him. Naturally, he slid in depression, stopped eating altogether and would chat for hours on internet when all alone at home to strangers in virtual land, because it was easier to offload your problems to someone whom you didn’t know at all. Fortunately, Rastogis woke up in the nick of time and took their son to clinical psychologist Dr Arti Anand, who diagnosed him of depression. His school was changed and with the help of medicines, change of environment and positive reinforcement Abhyankar gained back his confidence and is doing well in another school in the Science stream and dreams of studying automobile engineering soon, because he is passionate about cars.

Why has depression and suicide rates grown up in children?

“If you see, children have to undergo a lot of pressure—peer, parental, studies and these days add a new dimension to it extra curricular. Naturally, so much stress is too much for young minds, because physically children might look grown up, mentally they are not equipped enough to handle so much of stress,” explains clinical psychologist Dr Arti Anand. Symptoms of stress and depression in children manifests in increased episodes of suicides in children. It’s a shocker that suicide is a leading cause of death in 15-24 year olds.

Watch out

Many a time the child will not come and tell you that he is depressed. But, you got to be careful if you see any/few/all symptoms enlisted below—

• Change in eating and sleeping habits

• Withdrawal from friends, family and regular activities

• Violent actions, rebellious behavior, or running away

• Drug and alcohol use

• Unusual neglect of personal appearance

• Marked personality change

• Persistent boredom, difficulty concentrating, or a decline in the quality of schoolwork

• Frequent complaints about physical symptoms, often related to emotions, such as stomachaches, headaches, fatigue

• Loss of interest in pleasurable activities

• Not tolerating praise or rewards.

A teenager who is planning to commit suicide may also:

• Complain of being a bad person or feeling ‘rotten inside’

• Give verbal hints with statements such as: ‘I won’t be a problem for you much longer’, ‘Nothing matters’, ‘It’s no use’, and ‘I won’t see you again’

• Put his affairs in order, for example, give away favorite possessions, suddenly clean his room, throwing away important belongings.

• Become suddenly cheerful after a period of depression

• Have signs of psychosis (hallucinations or bizarre thoughts)

How can you help your child?

Adolescent is a period of intense hormonal upheavals. Hence, parents need to support children to help them sail through this rough patch. “Realistic expectations from the child, mingling with his peer group are the right steps to begin with. Chatting with the child is important because it helps open lines of conversation,” says Dr Jayanti Dutta, clinical psychologist. Once in a while try having a chat-a-thon with your child. Still better, invite your children’s friends too, for a sleep over, cook dinner together and talk about what’s going in their lives. This will allow you to have a view of the world of your child. On an important note, allow your child to do what she likes the most. Recently, Neha Sawant, 11, a bit of reality TV star committed suicide because her parents pulled her out of the dance academy. Refrain from acting arbitrarily and involve the child in decisions. After all, it’s his life. Also, stop comparing your child with anyone else and pick your conflicts carefully. Like don’t fret if your child wishes to grow a goatee or get a tattoo.

Your adolescent was just a kid few years back. Hug him occasionally, (in private) encourage him often and at times ignore his eccentricities. More importantly, if you see the child is not being himself, talk to his teacher, friends and seek help.

Keep your child warm

Its winter time and your biggest worry is how to keep your little one unaffected by the bitter cold. Frightful winter temperatures can expose children to fever, cold, frostbite, and other dangerous illnesses. Dressing your children properly and warmly will allow them to play outside, while staying warm and dry and protected from harsh temperatures.
Here are a few valuable tips on how to keep your kid warm, without overheating:

• Layering is the key, as it provides adequate protection from cold. When taking your child outside in chilled weather, dress him up in multiple light, thin layers, instead of one heavy sweater. But do not over bundle him. The rule of thumb is when dressing your child add one additional layer of clothing than an adult would wear in the same weather.

• Make him wear clothes made of cotton, wool and fleecy fibre. Add mittens or gloves. Cap and socks are musts. Covering your child’s head and feet will keep his body temperature regulated.

• Make sure that your child remains as active as possible by playing games, going to the park, etc. And if it is too cold you can think of some indoor games and activities to keep him active.

• Keep little hands and feet dry as the body gets cold faster in wet clothes. Change diaper and undershirt frequently.

Clean your baby’s skin with luke-warm water and use mild gentle baby soap. But before bathing him check for yourself to make sure that the water is neither too cold nor too hot. After the bath, apply the essential baby oils and light gentle cream to keep the skin soft and supple. If skin is dry, apply the cream twice a day. Include plenty of hot drinks and food.

• Do not over dress him while putting him to bed. A hot, sweaty baby will wake up sooner than a warm and comfortable baby. Also, do not cover him with blankets, quilts and pillows in the crib as it could smother him. If you must use a blanket to keep your baby warm, tuck the blanket under the mattress of the crib. Keep the blanket or quilt tucked only up to the baby’s chest, so that the face doesn’t get covered by the blanket.

• Put a hot water bottle under the bed to warm it up.
Make your children well equipped, let them go out to explore winter.

RESTLESS CHILDREN

Bunty had always been a restless kid. Even as a preschooler, he would poke his nose at the most unexpected places at home. He was forever screaming and bouncing on top of the furniture. No toy or activity ever held his interest for more than a few minutes. When his teacher's comments about his inattention and disruptive behaviour in class became too frequent to ignore, his parents took him to the doctor, who recommended an evaluation for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

Boys are about three times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with it, though it's not yet understood why. Dr. Rajeev Chhabra, consultant—paediatrics and neonatology, Artemis Health Institute, Gurgaon says, “There is no specific reason for which children become hyperactive. In some cases may be genes are responsible. Normally, by the time such children become teenagers they calm down.” Dr Arti Anand consultant psychologist, Sir Ganga Ram Hospital adds, “Besides the genetic link (for which you can do nothing) a pregnant woman who is addicted to alcohol or smoking is at risk of giving birth to a hyperactive baby.” However, she is quick to mention that a high level of lead in the blood, can also lead to ADHD disorder.
Signs
• Can be easily distracted
• Do not seem to listen.
• Have difficulty playing quietly.
• Often run or climb excessively
• Difficulty following instructions
• Interrupt or intrude on others.
• Do not finish tasks.
Seven steps to calm down—
Treatment options for ADHD are extremely varied. Your treatment plan might include some medications prescribed by the doctor. Behavioural modification helps too.
1. Deep breathing is one of the simplest ways to calm the body. Teach your children to take deep breaths (in through the nose, out through the mouth) when they begin to feel frustrated and out of control.
2. Be careful! It is best to talk to the toddlers and let them understand that their actions disturb others and they can hurt themselves
3. Divert attention. If the child insists on making a mess in the kitchen you can divert his attention by letting him play with utensils. In all circumstances do not hit or slap the baby, suggests Dr. Arti.
4. Share moments. Use free time to take a trip to the park, read a special book together, take a walk, or simply giggle and be silly with your child. These free moments can be especially helpful in bonding with hyperactive kids.
5. Healthy bites. Dr Chhabra points out, “Parents can restrict the quantity of sugar or sugar substitutes in their child’s diet, because these things may contribute to hyper behaviour and mood swing of toddler. Parents should also take care of the presence of some essential fatty acids or, certain vitamins in a wholesome child diet”
6. Cuddle your baby. Touch therapy helps children with ADHD disorder.
7. Praise and reward: “Kids will be inspired to obey when their efforts are recognized by parents, teachers or other adults”, suggests Dr. Arti.
Doc speaks
• Insist on a regular bedtime and adequate rest. Insufficient rest can cause attention problems.
• Limit TV viewing. Though it is tough, it’s important.
• Encourage your children for some physical exercises everyday, preferably outdoors.

Inputs from Dr. Rajeev Chhabra, Paediatrics & Neonatologist, Artemis Health Institute, Gurgaon.

The right way to discipline your child

When it comes to disciplining toddlers as a parent we reprimand, scream or hit the child. All these methods are wrong and are not approved by research studies. On the contrary behaviour specialists recommend time out as an effective discipline technique that works well with children as young as 18-24 months old.

Dr. Sal Severe in his book How to behave so your kids will too, says, “Parents need to understand that their children's behavior is often a reflection of their own behaviour” Spanking a child for misbehaviour makes them realise that it is okay to hit.

In his book Dr. Severe has set guidelines for time out.
Time-Out Guidelines
 Determine the time-out setting:
o Safety first
o As boring as possible
 Identify one priority misbehavior
 Use a timer
 Explain time-out to your child:
o Time-out is going to improve behavior
o What time-out is
o How the time works
o How the timer works
o Describe the priority misbehavior (give an example)
 Use time-out as part of a plan
 Be consistent with time-out
 Stay calm when you use time-out
 Use a chart to keep a record of progress
 Initial episodes may be difficult (extinction burst)
 When you're putting your child in time-out, briefly explain what she has done so she can connect the behaviour with the time-out. A simple phrase such as “No hitting” is enough. Do not lecture and do not spank. Time-out is not the time for teaching or preaching.
 Do not negotiate with a child in time-out. Completely ignore him, even if he shouts, bangs or apologizes.
 When time-out is over, it is over. Create a fresh start by offering a new activity. Don’t discuss the unwanted behaviour, just move on.

The duration

Time-out should last 1 minute for each year of your child's age. It should not last for more than 5 minutes.
 You can use a stopwatch as timer. Make sure you put it where your child can see and hear it.
 If she leaves time-out, put her back quickly and reset the timer. This teaches her that you mean what you say. Be consistent.
Siblings
If your other children touch the timer, or tease their brother or sister in time-out, they should be also placed in time-out.
End of time out
 Make it clear that you are in control of when time-out ends. When time-out is over, it's over. Reminders or lectures after time-out may lead to the same misbehaviour. It's better to comfort your child.
 If your child repeats the behaviour that led to the time-out in the first place, repeat the whole process. If used properly, time-out will eventually work.
Remember, your child should know that time-out is directed toward the misbehaviour not him. It's important not to hurt your child's self-esteem by instilling shame, guilt, loss of trust, or feelings of abandonment.
Parenting is all about patience, it can be excruciating at times but kids imbibe the way their parents behave. Be a role model yourself, and kids are going to follow.

One size doesn't fit all

If you see your kid doodling, do not fret thinking he is wasting his time when he should be studying. Rather use this act of drawing images while teaching him. And you may find it to be an effective learning sty le of his. Read more with My Health Guardian


Kirti sings the mathematical formulas quietly to herself. Kavisha learns spellings by tapping her pencil in rhythmic patterns. Krish needs to put everything in points in order to cram. Anika draws pictures from her……….. Raghai puts his own logic to extend his knowledge of simple facts to harder ones. These children naturally express their preferred intelligences as they attempt to master their school assignments


We are all endowed with different personalities, special skills, preferences and tastes. And our ways of learning are as diverse as the colors of the rainbow. Parents and teachers must observe and value these differences. Once we are aware of their children’s strengths and know what kind of learners they are, we can build up activities that will make the most of their children’s abilities and increase the chances of their success.

“God never makes junk! Each one of us is special and has a unique set of qualities that just needs right encouragement and sometimes guidance to blossom”, says Dr Rima Sehgal, counselor at Bal Bharti school, Ghaziabad. Think of any one child or person who is not doing well in life and you would be able to find that the child is good in something else. Unfortunately, in our society a child's worth is determined by her Report Card, and parents have limited and comparative vision regarding their child’s future and career goals. As part of the rat race, every second person either thinks of Engineering, Medicine, CA, CS, BBA or maximum variation can be teaching career for girls! This happens when there are around 30,000 listed careers available!

Nitya Ramaswami, Head Child Development and Academics, Zee Schools, says, “Principally any child when posed with a concept confronts it with questions as--what, why, how and what if I do it this way? We would be devoid of inventions, had all of us thought in a singular pattern. Newton is a classic instance of ‘why’ intelligence and Bill Gates corresponds to the school of ‘what if I do it this way’ intelligence.”

But our conventional education system is focused towards rat race. The paradox is even if you win this race you’re still a rat.

Other than the two intelligences that we focus on-linguistic and mathematical skills, there are other intelligences that are equally important to a holistic human development. They include--visual/spatial, bodily/kinesthetic, musical, interpersonal, naturalist and intra personal intelligence.
Multiple Intelligences are eight different learning styles or ways to demonstrate our intellectual abilities, which was conceived by renowned educational psychologist, Dr. Howard Gardner,

Let’s survey and understand our children’s intelligences and make them their guide. In fact, there can be no one better than parents to assess the leanings of the child. Pay attention to the questions of your children and the activities he tries to do. Like does he dismantle household equipments or he asks questions. Whether he is good with expressions, sways to beats of music or doodles on walls. Observe your child if he plays a leader in a game and see what activities disinterest him. “Once you have a clue of the bend of the mind of your child, learning becomes a child’s play”, reasons Nitya.


Making children understand their stongest skills and the many ways they are intelligent will help them channelize their potential on the right path.

It is very important to encourage children to discover and tap into their intelligences. Creating a rich, fostering, and a motivating environment filled with interesting and constructive materials, toys, games and books, lays the foundation for healthier, happier and brighter children! Students who have these kinds of experiences know many ways to learn almost anything!
How do I judge towards which intelligence is my child inclined to? …while playing with your little one, chalk out a few activities and give him options to perform…solve a puzzle…sing a song………draw a picture or tell a story. You do not need to repeat all the activities every time but keep adding new ones and repeating just two or three. Soon his interest will come to the fore. Use this interest as his learning channel. You might also come to see a blend of intelligences in him.


Expose your child to a variety of activities and things that he is passionate about and wants to do. Allow him to express his knowledge in a range of ways. Soon you would notice recurring success and enjoyment in certain areas. That would be hint enough on the talent or specific high intelligence areas.


Tips for parents-

Understand that IQ is not fixed and there are innumerable options open for the child in spite of poor or average academics.
Help your child develop self-esteem that is essential to bring about any positive change, through appreciation and affection.
Find out the exact cause of poor performance and help the child do better accordingly
Focus and encourage what the child can do best rather what he would land up doing average!

Help him draw his strengths, focus on the learning skills that he can master and see what acumen would he like to expand?