The right way to discipline your child

When it comes to disciplining toddlers as a parent we reprimand, scream or hit the child. All these methods are wrong and are not approved by research studies. On the contrary behaviour specialists recommend time out as an effective discipline technique that works well with children as young as 18-24 months old.

Dr. Sal Severe in his book How to behave so your kids will too, says, “Parents need to understand that their children's behavior is often a reflection of their own behaviour” Spanking a child for misbehaviour makes them realise that it is okay to hit.

In his book Dr. Severe has set guidelines for time out.
Time-Out Guidelines
 Determine the time-out setting:
o Safety first
o As boring as possible
 Identify one priority misbehavior
 Use a timer
 Explain time-out to your child:
o Time-out is going to improve behavior
o What time-out is
o How the time works
o How the timer works
o Describe the priority misbehavior (give an example)
 Use time-out as part of a plan
 Be consistent with time-out
 Stay calm when you use time-out
 Use a chart to keep a record of progress
 Initial episodes may be difficult (extinction burst)
 When you're putting your child in time-out, briefly explain what she has done so she can connect the behaviour with the time-out. A simple phrase such as “No hitting” is enough. Do not lecture and do not spank. Time-out is not the time for teaching or preaching.
 Do not negotiate with a child in time-out. Completely ignore him, even if he shouts, bangs or apologizes.
 When time-out is over, it is over. Create a fresh start by offering a new activity. Don’t discuss the unwanted behaviour, just move on.

The duration

Time-out should last 1 minute for each year of your child's age. It should not last for more than 5 minutes.
 You can use a stopwatch as timer. Make sure you put it where your child can see and hear it.
 If she leaves time-out, put her back quickly and reset the timer. This teaches her that you mean what you say. Be consistent.
Siblings
If your other children touch the timer, or tease their brother or sister in time-out, they should be also placed in time-out.
End of time out
 Make it clear that you are in control of when time-out ends. When time-out is over, it's over. Reminders or lectures after time-out may lead to the same misbehaviour. It's better to comfort your child.
 If your child repeats the behaviour that led to the time-out in the first place, repeat the whole process. If used properly, time-out will eventually work.
Remember, your child should know that time-out is directed toward the misbehaviour not him. It's important not to hurt your child's self-esteem by instilling shame, guilt, loss of trust, or feelings of abandonment.
Parenting is all about patience, it can be excruciating at times but kids imbibe the way their parents behave. Be a role model yourself, and kids are going to follow.