Raise confident kids

Self –confidence is a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, judgment, and value. Some children seem to be born with coyness and a lack of self-confidence. Dr Arti Anand, consultant psychologist with Sir Ganga Ram Hospital says, “A shy child will hesitate to make new friends and clings to the mother when she meets new people or in new situations. She will not talk to people who come at home.” Regardless of the cause, you can help your child build a healthy level of self-confidence. It helps your child to develop mentally and emotionally.

Positive parenting means responsibility of a parent to help a child grow with self-confidence. Dr Anand points out, “Such children become back benchers and resist to respond to teachers because they are afraid of any spot light shining on them.”

Road to confidence

1. Be proud parents. Be proud of your kids and show that pride. Be proud of what your child is and express that pride. Knowing that you’re proud of her, she will always refrain herself from going on a wrong path and will never hurt your expectations. This will definitely build her self-esteem.
2. Trust her! Trust, as we all know is “earned”. You must start building trust between you and your children. Nothing builds confidence in human beings like trust. Though it is not always easy for a parent to feel sure of their children’s abilities, start with small and realistic steps that are agreed upon and carried out.
3. Praise her. Appreciation works more than criticism. Parents often speak without thinking. Statements such as, “You’ll never get it right,” or “Don’t be so stupid,” may seem harmless when spoken, but they send a negative message to your child that contributes to a low self-image. Dr. Anand advises, “Build your child’s self-confidence by providing frequent, genuine statements of praise. Tell your children they are special, that you love them even when they fail.”
4. Perfect role model. Children learn a great deal by watching the role models in their lives. Parents are the first and the most important role models. Do not put yourself or your spouse down in front of your children. Be the perfect role model for your little angel.
5. Help them to choose right. Give your child choices. Being able to make decisions is something that your child will have to do all throughout life. Such decision-making skills will give your child confidence in her ability to make her own choices, as she gets older.
6. Admire your toddler. Respect your child's interests, even if they seem boring to you - take a genuine interest in your child's friends, and what's happening at school, and comment to show you're listening. “All the children should be given a chance to participate in plays, sports etc. Teachers should be polite and kind while expressing a failure rather than shouting and screaming at them,” suggests Dr. Anand.
7. Self-dependent kids. Don’t do things for your child that he or she can do alone. Children need to learn to take care of themselves and they learn this through hands-on experience. By knowing appropriate developmental stages of your toddler, you can identify which tasks he or she can safely do without your help. In the end, this will help build self-confidence.