When kids learn to lie

Parenting is akin to enrolling yourself in a school. Everyday springs new surprises and has lessons to offer, wise parents keep learning and moving on. Often, parents feel shocked when they learn that their otherwise honest and truthful child has begun to experiment with lies. While some lies are innocuous and are products of overactive imagination, there are some, which are spoken intentionally. Now, there is a good and bad news attached to it—the good news is that the child has become grown up enough to tamper with facts to wriggle out of awkward situations like an adult to save his skin and the bad news is that he has learned to lie.

Agreed, these lies are not big and are usually in response to the questions that children prefer to avoid, yet lying is not good.

Why kids lie?
Lying is a symptom and it calls for parental affection and concern. My friend's eight-year-old, daughter Sagarika complained of unexplained aches and pains in her leg just before the Kathak class. The pains would last only for an hour. Her mother insisted on taking her to the class and sat through out the session. She found that Sagarika was not able to dance like the older girls in her class and felt de-motivated for this reason. When she joined the class meant for girls of her age group, she became the star dancer and her pains vanished. ‘Now, in fact, she looks forward to her Kathak class’, says the beaming mother.

Sometimes what we call lying is just a figment of imagination. Kids live in make-believe world and their thoughts correspond accordingly.

Many a time unknowingly parents introduce their children to the web of lies. What do we expect our children to learn when we ask our spouse, friend or staff to answer a phone call for us and concoct an excuse for us. The impressionable minds of children are quick to learn that adults tamper with facts, and so can they.
Often, parents tend to attach strings to their love towards the child. Sometimes this can coerce your child to tamper with truth because s/he wants to conform to the standards set by parents.

If you find that your child experiments with lies make them understand that lies erode trust. Have faith in your children and try to get to the root of lying; you might find a fear lurking there.
As kids grow they become more independent and want to exert that too. Often lying becomes an escape route to wriggle out. Try to see them the reason behind your questions and they are likely to conform to your expectations. Have faith, your kids are going to get out of this habit.