Teach Your Child to Fight Against Fear

Fear is a common experience to many children. In fact, most children go through a period in their lives when fears disturb their peace of mind. This happens when their imagination begins to develop, while they don’t yet have the tools with which to neutralize and distinguish between reality and imagination. To understand how to master the impulse and to conquer fears in children, you must first understand the common causes and then call for action to handle it with care. Dr Vandana Tara Consultant Child Psychology at Moolchand the Medcity unravels many facts about fear and also shares 10 techniques to help your child fight fear. Read on…

WHAT DO CHILDREN FEAR

The objects and situations that children fear vary a good deal. When very young children show fear it can be hard to judge exactly what is causing it. Children between the ages of three and six; sometimes confuse reality, dreams and fantasy and get really scared out of almost nothing. Although this concept prevails that some intense fears are quite a natural developmental stage and will ease naturally but it is not safe to believe that everything that the child of this age fears is just something they will grow out.  Dr Tara jots down few common causes of fear in different age stage:

Age 2-4 years fear of animals, loud noises, being left alone, inconsistent discipline, toilet training, bath, bedtime, monsters and ghosts, bed wetting, disabled people.

Age 4-7 years fear darkness and imaginary creatures. Other fears of strangers are also seen in this group and it can be best called as ‘shyness’. Children at this age may also fear loss of a parent, death, injury and divorce.

8 year- 10 years will probably have fragments of earlier fears but additional ones will tend to be more rationally based, which possibly includes fear being late for school, social rejection, criticism, adaptation and adoption, robbers, personal danger and fear blood and injury.

11 and 13 years usually fear animals, kidnapping, being alone in the dark and injections. Beyond this age boys lose their fears more readily than girls.

14-16 years face a wide range of rational or almost rational fears such as injury, terrorism, plane or car crashes, sexual relations, drug use, public speaking, school performance, crowds, gossip etc.

IDENTIFY THE SYMPTOMS

It’s important to know what the physical symptoms of stress look like, so they don’t scare you. They will go away if you don’t fight them:

• Trembling or shaking
• Pounding heart
• Rapid breathing
• Lump in throat; feeling choked up
• Stomach tightening or churning
• Feeling dizzy or faint
• Cold sweats
• Racing thoughts

HOW TO FIGHT FEAR

There are very few ways in which you can actually fight fears. Unlike Harry Potter’s world where most fears take on physical form (a dementor or a spider) can be fought. But if your fear is not tangible and you need to beat the fear of heights or fear of shadows, then it can only be tempered, faced, and lived with. Mastering this impulse is the only key to deal with fears tells Dr Tara.

PLAY THE PARENT POWER 

Although as children grow older, their fears gradually decrease and eventually disappear, but in certain cases it persists forever. So as a parent follow these tips to help you kid overcome fears.

 Listen to your child. Having your child talk about her fears is a good way to face the fear. Often, just by exploring their fears, without anyone looking for a solution, it will allow the fear to evaporate into nothingness. Talking also helps to bring the hidden fears out of the darkness and into the open which enables the child to deal with them better.

 Draw the fear. Sit down with your child and ask her to draw her fear on a piece of paper. Giving the fear a shape and color removes the mystique and helps the child get a handle on them.

 Use relaxation techniques. Teach your child to relax her body as she relaxes her mind. She can gradually tighten and loosen her muscles from head to toe promoting a relaxed state. Show her as well, how she can use the same imagination that makes her scared, to make her relaxed. Help her imagine vivid visions of happy occasions, such as her birthday party, and to peacefully allow those images to pass over her as though she were watching a movie. She can also focus her mind on specific scenes that she finds relaxing, like twinkling stars or a peaceful pond – perhaps graced by a beautiful swan; gushing waterfalls, the sound of the water streaming down a slope, the warmth of the sun on her face, as she takes a deep breath and allows herself to relax.

 Night lamp and tape recorder. At night when it is dark, switching on a night light can help your child avoid added scary images. During the day, when alone, a tape recorder with some music or storytelling may help serve as a companion of sorts.

 Monitor input content. Keep your child from watching or reading frightening shows and story books with a lot of terror or violence. Choose books with inspirational, uplifting stories and stories about children conquering their fears.

 Have the child repeat a calming sentence or verse over and over again. Any sentence could work, for instance, “I am safe at all times.” Or, “He will command His angels to guard you in all your ways. You can have your child think about the words and their meaning while saying them.

If your child’s fears persist and interfere with his daily activities you might like to seek professional help from a child psychologist.

Are You Giving Your Kid Enough Nutrients?

Have you ever thought that diet coke, fantas, fruti, maggi, burger and pizzas have actually been replacing the real nutrient factor from the diet chart of your kid?? If not, then think over it now! And start working on it! My Health Guardian shares expert suggestions to enhance your nutrient quotient for your child! Read to know the best tips shared by Dr Shubhda Bhanot, Nutritionist and Dietician, Medanta- The Medicity, Gurgaon.

Serve foods rich in iron – Iron is present in foods basically in two forms, haem iron, found in flesh foods such as red meat, chicken and fish, and non-haem iron which is found in plant foods such as wholegrain breads and cereals, dried fruits (though, whole nuts are not recommended for children under five), and some vegetables like beans, spinach, parsley, broccoli, etc.
Children who do not eat enough iron containing foods may get tired easily, feel faint and pale, and are mostly uninterested in any play or activity. Moreover, iron deficiency kid may complain of headaches and often have small appetites and are also prone to various infections that affect their normal brain development and growth; so proper intake of iron rich food is must informs Dr. Bhanot. Try to feed your child iron rich food, and for this you need to be experimental as well as patient enough to tackle them with ease.

Mix and Match Vitamins – Common foods that are rich in vitamin D, C and A include milk and milk fortified foods, such as some brands of breakfast cereals, orange juice, and yogurt. Other foods rich in vitamin D include fattier fish, such as salmon and light tuna.

In addition to the food enriched with vitamins, also encourage your child to involve in outdoor activity as the body also makes vitamin D when exposed to strong sunlight, storing extra for future use.

Calcium not just for bones – For growing children, adequate calcium is must. It is very important for the bone growth as most of the calcium is stored in bones, but besides this, calcium also helps in maintaining the heart rhythm and managing blood clotting, and muscle function. If your child doesn’t get enough calcium in their diet, the body will steal it from their bones, thereby making your child weak and unhealthy. So try to incorporate nuts and seeds like almonds, pistachio, etc. and vegetables meant and fist to your child’s diet chart. Lentils are also a good source of calcium as well as high protein.

Shubhda Bhanot suggests daily calcium doses for children as per their age category.

• Ages 1-3: Amount of calcium required is 500 milligrams
• Ages 4-8: 800 milligrams
• Ages 9-18: 1,300 milligrams

Proteins are essential– Proteins are part of every cell, tissue, and organ in our bodies, therefore regular and adequate quantity of protein must be taken every day to keep the body fit and healthy. Children in different age groups need different amount of protein in their daily diet tells Dr. Bhanot. Toddlers in the age group of 1 to 3 requires 13 gram a day, those in the ages 4 – 8 need 19 grams, while children in between 9 years to 13 years require 34 grams. The protein need among teen girls and boys in the age group of 14 to 18 also differs. Girls ages 14 – 18 must intake at least 46 grams of protein while boys in the same age group must have 52 grams of protein in a day.
To provide sufficient protein to your child, give him at least 1 cup of milk with 8 grams of protein or encourage him to eat a piece of meat, dry beans or a cup of yoghurt daily suggest Dr. Bhanot.

Supplementation is important – Adequate supplementation is very important for the overall growth of children. Supplements are must as it helps the body to make up for what they miss from their diet. Various brands like Vestige, offers a good range of food supplements for children.

Priya Singh

Meal Time Woes Got Resolved

What disturbs a mother most about her child? Eight out of ten mothers will answer eating habits. Mothers love to fuss around their child with food. Growing kids need extra nutrition. How do we ensure that? Dr Rajeev Chabbra, consultant Pediatric at Artemis, Gurgaon says, “Roughly children’s meals should be divided as: morning breakfast, mid day snacks, lunch, evening snacks, dinner and post dinner feed.” Giving your child milk on waking up and before going to bed has been approved by paediatricians as well.

 MENU PLAN

 Breakfast—Cereals/ Poha/ Paratha/ Sandwich/ Idli

 Mid day snack—Fresh fruits/ Handful of dried fruits

 Lunch—Portion of vegetables, bowl of pulses and rice or chapatti

 Evening snack—Glass of juice or milk with cookies/ puffed rice/ sweet corn/ banana

 Dinner as lunch

· If your child eats non-vegetarian food substitute chicken or fish with legumes.

· To increase protein intake in growing kids 5 eggs per week is recommended. If a child is vegetarian good sources of protein are—paneer, cheese and legumes.

Meal time battles

1. This isn’t easy to resolve. Dr. Taneja is frank on the subject. He says, “Many times children use food as a medium to get back at parents. Avoid dancing in front of prancing kids to shove a few morsels down their gullet. Do not use TV either to feed your child. Take away the plate from the child, whether she finishes the meal or not. For this you need to be firm. Controlling snacks before dinner and lunch time will help too.”
2. Involve your older child in menu decisions. Allow her to experiment with food under your supervision. She is going to like the stuff more if she dishes it out. Appreciate her effort.
3. For younger kids give them a star each time they polish off their plate. Introduce them to new veggies and this can be done by shopping with them. Appreciate more and reprimand less. The formula works everywhere.
4. All said and done your child will imbibe your eating habits. So, if you express your displeasure over a fruit, vegetable or a particular kind of legume; be certain that your child will inculcate the dislike.
5. Then there are children who won’t touch anything but junk food. Though, we all will agree that kids will be kids. Like everything in life, junk food can be eaten in moderation. If you make something out of bounds you make it more attractive for the child.
6. You can also try giving your child a supplement to fill in the nutritional deficiencies.

Researchers have discovered that you can educate the palate of your child by starting early. For this introduce your child to semi-solid foods which has mashed bits of foods, like-vegetables, legumes and rice or daliya to ten-month when she is ten-months-old.

Milk Additives

Normally, children avoid drinking plain milk. With so many advertisements shouting about their products and claiming it’s superiority over others, mothers are in a fix. Almost all brands available by any name contain milk solids, malt extracts, a sugar source (liquid glucose, dextrin, etc), flavouring, and are fortified with vitamins, especially B-complex vitamins and minerals. The common property of B- vitamins is that they are essential for the metabolism and proper utilisation of energy, carbohydrates, proteins, and fat,” says Dr. Neelima Mohan, Paediatric Gastroenterologist at Ganga Ram Hospital.

Snacks to Pack for Your Kids

Every morning or let’s admit that from almost last night prelude, one thing that constantly hits the brain of any Mom is the kids’ School Lunch. You keep looking for something healthy, appealing, nutritious, easy to make in the morning and something that will survive a few hours in the lunch box. Again a change is must for every day a week. Priya Singh pitches in recipes of some yummy to taste, amazing to look and yet easy to cook snacks to pack for your kids. Read to select what would you pack for kid.

Veggie Cheese Sandwich

Ingredients: 6 – bread rolls, 15 gm – butter, salt to taste, 2 pinches – white pepper powder, 20g – cheese, 5 – black olive, 4 tbsp – chopped carrot, 2 tbsp – chopped onion, 3 tbsp – chopped mushroom, 4 tbsp – chopped beans, 1 tbsp – chopped garlic, 1 tbsp – chopped green chilli, 15 gm – refind flour, 150 ml – milk , olive oil

Method:  Melt butter in a pan & mix it with flour. After mixing butter – flour, pour milk in mixture. Heat olive oil in the other pan and fry garlic. Once garlic changes colour add all vegetables. When vegetables are soft, mix prepared sauce in it. Add salt, pepper and prepare a thick filling and keep a side. Cut the rolls in half and toast in a toaster. Then fill the toasts with the prepared mixture topped with grated cheese, a little chopped carrot, chilli and black olive rings. Toast this under salamander or oven. It makes a good snack pack option as cheese always delights kids.

Colourful Parathana

Ingredients: 1/4 cup wheat flour, 1/4 cup rice flour, 1 tbsp. soaked moong dal (soaked for 2 hours), 1 tsp. bombay rava, 1 tbsp. spinach chopped, 1 tsp. paneer or cheese grated, 1 tbsp.carrots, beans, peas, cabbage etc. 1 flake garlic crushed, 1/4 tsp turmeric powder, 1 tsp oil, 2 spring onion stems finely chopped, salt to taste, oil for shallow frying.

Method: Cut vegetables very fine. Grind spinach to a paste, add chillies if you want. Now mix all ingredients except oil and cheese to make dough of the mixture (consistency like that of paratha). Roll into small parathas . Heat the tawa and make parathas. Cook till even browned and golden on both sides. Garnish with grated paneer or cheese. And pack it in hot wrap for lunch. Ketchup, chutney or jam woul make great add on, select as per your child’s taste.

Moong Flour Pancake

Ingredients: 1 cup moong dal flour (green or yellow), 1 tbsp corriander finely chopped, 1 carrot grated, 1/4 tsp. grated ginger, 1 green chilli ground (if your kid prefers), 1/2 pinches soda bicarb, salt to taste, oil to shallow fry.

Method: Mix all ingredients in a bowl with enough water to make thick batter. Pour the batter in a big spoonful on a warmed dosa tawa or non-stick tawa. Make dosa out of the dough. Cool and pack. If desired with green chutney or sauce.

Paneer Pasta with Garlic Bread

Ingredients: 1 bowl boiled Maccaroni, diced onion, 100 gm paneer, bell pepper, tomato ketchup 2tbsp, voila, red pepper, olive oil 2 tsp and salt to taste.

Method to prepare pasta: Boil the maccaroni with a pinch of salt and keep it aside. Cut the onions into small cubes. Cut the tomatoes, paneer and bell pepper and keep it aside. Now heat the oil in a pan and put the onions in it. Cook for some time till onion changes colour to golden brown. Now add the boiled maccaroni and cook for 15 min. Now add bell pepper and paneer and cook for 2 mins. Take care to see that is does not stick to the bottom. Now add salt and red pepper. Finally add tomato ketchup and voila its ready. Serve hot!!

How to prepare garlic bread Mix some minced cloves of garlic with butter and apply on sliced bread. Wrap it with foil paper and toast it in the oven for 2 mins and it ready to eat.

So now try these recipes and see how you win the fight of getting your kid finish the lunch pack. With these, no more after school lectures would be required.

Common Health Mistakes That Parents Commit

Almost all parents meticulously follow their child’s growth plan and vaccination chart. Still, parents tend to gloss over certain facts which can prove detrimental to the health of the child. Keep reading to learn about most commonly committed health mistakes by parents. And yes, even educated parents tend to make such mistakes.

Did you de-worm your child?

“When was the last time you de-wormed her?” asked Dr. Rajiv Chabbara, Consultant Paediatrician and Neonatal Intensivist to Mehak Aggarwal. She had brought Suhani, her three-year-old daughter for a health check, as she wasn’t feeling too well and would complain of a stomach pain after having food. Mentally, Mehak calculated and spoke weakly, “Never.” Dr. Chabbara wasn’t in for a surprise. Even educated and well-informed parents fail to de-worm their kids, comments he. Children between the age group of 5 and 15 should be regularly de-wormed, says he. The common worm infestations are thread worm, round worm and hook worm. And the symptoms that needs to be observed includes intermittent abdomen pain particularly after eating food, lack of appetite, weak child, anaemia, itching around anal region, etc.

Lifestyle changes

• To keep worm infestation at bay, parents should inculcate healthy habits in children.
• Make sure children always wash their hands after going to the bathroom and before eating.
• Keep fingernails short to reduce the chances of picking up worm eggs underneath them.
• Wash all the vegetables, fruits thoroughly before eating raw.
• Meat, especially pork should be thoroughly cooked before eating.
• Ensure that children don’t play barefoot in soil.
• Neem powder and onion juice help remove intestinal worms.

Do you know your kids blood group?Usually parents know their kids’ blood group, but Anita Dewan didn’t. When the time came to fill in the pre-school forms, she filled the blood group as B positive, because she and her husband were the same blood group and she suspected her son’s blood group to be the same. Dr. Chabbara warns against making such speculations on your own. Blood grouping should ideally be done in all the kids as they are born. It is, however, compulsory for those kids whose mother’s blood group is O or Rhesus negative; as kids born to such mothers have increased propensity to get significant jaundice tells Dr. Chabbra.

Also, it is good to know the blood group of your child so that during emergency you can inform the treating doctor to avoid any medical delay in adverse consequences. Nowadays, schools also ask for it as a mandatory requirement.

Have you checked your infant for underactive thyroidA bit of skepticism saved Jagruti Motwani. Her ten-day-old baby girl would sleep throughout the day and showed no interest in feeding. She felt that something wasn’t right with the child and got her tested for IEM (Inborn Errors of Metabolism).

The test revealed that the child was suffering from underactive thyroid, a health condition that could cause mental retardation. Experts are of the view that there should be compulsory inclusion of thyroid test at birth. In India, the incidence of thyroid hormone deficiency at birth is one in 2,500 newborn babies, while it is one in 4,000 newborn babies in developed countries. Untreated under-active thyroid can cause mental retardation in the infant. A simple heel prick at birth can reveal the condition and it can get treated with oral medicines.

Pay attention to your child’s hearingThe good news is, hearing problems can be treated if it gets caught early — ideally by the time a baby is 3 months old. And, the bad news is, most of the parents don’t have proper awareness that hearing loss is a common birth defect, which if evaluated at the right time can be cured. So it’s important to get your child’s hearing screened early and evaluated regularly to keep hearing loss at bay.

Get squint treatedMany parents believe that children will outgrow squint, and this includes educated parents too, says Dr. Ajay Sharma, Medical Director, Eye Q chain of hospitals. This is not true. Squint is a misalignment of the two eyes so that both the eyes are not looking in the same direction. This misalignment may be constant, being present throughout the day or it may appear sometimes and the rest of the time the eyes may be straight. Treatment plan for squint include spectacles, eye exercise and surgery.

Do you beg your paediatrician for antibiotics?Many parents do this, says Dr. Chabbara. Antibiotics are just not needed for viral fever. Hence, listen to your doctor’s words of advice, urges he.

How to Help Your Child Beat Bullying

Bullying is a universal phenomenon. No doubt, it hurts. Though years later you may recover from the effects, while you are undergoing it, it makes life difficult and miserable for the victim. Bullying erodes confidence of the victims and when they decide to beat back bullying they can resort to unthinkable means. Newspapers are splashed with children resorting to violence to settle scores and bullying may be somewhere ingrained in the psyches of children who do so. Every day in our schools and communities, children are teased, threatened, or tormented by bullies. A very competitive school environment can contribute to bullying.

Decoding bullying

There are many different forms of bullying; it isn’t all-physical violence it is also verbal or social abuse, this can be by way of intimidation, making nasty comments and excluding the person. The most common types of bullying are–

Verbal bullying

Girls very often do this type of bullying; it is a very cruel form of bullying and can have deep lasting mental effects on your child even when the bullying has been stopped. Verbal bullying consists of —

• Name calling
• Sarcasm
• Teasing
• Spreading rumours, etc.

Social bullying

Ostracizing child is another form of bullying. The bully never misses an opportunity to humiliate the victim.

Physical bullying

Usually boys do this but girls are not immune to it, it takes forms of

• Hitting
• Pinching
• Poking
• Pushing
• Chasing
• Destroying or stealing possessions.

Cyber bullying

This form of bullying is becoming more widespread and consists of

• Sending hateful text messages
• E-mails
• Spreading rumours by these methods.

Symptoms

Whichever form of bullying takes place it can have serious health related issues in future.

Some signs of being bullied may be:

• Not wanting to go to school
• Finding excuses for not going to school, e.g. feeling sick or being sick
• Being very tense, tearful and unhappy before or after school
• Talking about hating school or other children
• Showing bruises or scratches
• Damage to or loss of personal belongings
• Showing problems with sleeping, e.g. not sleeping, nightmares.
• Not having any friends
• Refusing to talk about what happens at school.

Psyche of a bully

Studies have shown that children who bully are more likely to engage in other criminal and anti-social behaviors, such as:

• Fighting
• Vandalism
• Dropping out of school
• Stealing
• Smoking
• Drinking
• Drug addiction, etc.

The stress from being bullied can create problems for children at school. The effects of bullying can impact not only the direct victim, but also other children who witness such acts. It can cause children to experience —

• Fear
• Depression
• Loneliness
• Anxiety
• Low self-esteem
• Physical illness
• Even suicidal thoughts.

For bullies and bullied

Parental intervention, love and guidance often help in rectifying bullies and give courage to the bullied. If your child is a bully you can—

• Tell her the behavior won’t be tolerated.
• Teach her non-violent ways to express anger.
• Let her know there will be negative consequences if the behavior continues.
• Praise and reward appropriate behavior.
• Consider counselling.
• Don’t allow siblings to taunt him or call him names.
• Teach her to appreciate the differences in others instead of ridiculing them.

What to do if your child is bullied?

Parents

• Praise and encourage your child – a confident child is less likely to be bullied.
• Help your child develop new friends – new peers can provide a new chance.
• Maintain contact with your child’s school. Keep a detailed record of bullying episodes and communicate with the school.
• Encourage your child to participate in sports or physical activity to improve esteem.

Schools

• Establish a bullying prevention committee at school.
• Create a long-term anti-bullying plan and raise school and community awareness and involvement
• Survey to determine if there is a bullying problem.
• Involve parents in planning, discussions and action plans.
• Establish classroom rules against bullying.
• Initiate serious talks with bullies and victims of bullying.

Children are intrinsically innocent. If they are reacting in a way that is not suited to their age—(read bullying), somewhere they need help to channelise their energies or are calling for time and attention of parents. Respond to their calls before it is too late.